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column inches... Tips for a more gorgeous, glamorous life

Chrissy Darling

Welcome to the wonderful world of Chrissy Darling. A legend in her own Canal Street, Chrissy is everything you could wish for. Electrobelle, door whore, style icon and purveyor of warped wisdom - the likes of which you are bound to be offended by but whose words will never ring more true. (We guess this is the bit where we say the views represented here have nothing to do with us!) Let the gorgeousness begin.

Chrissy Darling

Chrissy Darling

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

My three favourite subjects are: one, Kings and Queens of the Plantagenet era; two, the effects of carcinogenic dyes on rats and, finally, Scally boys! Keeping that in mind here are some tips on how to attract a sexy Scally boy. If you follow these tips not only will you land yourself a Scally stunner but your life will become even more glamorous and gorgeous. We’re talking on an uber level!

Tips on getting a sexy Scally boy:

• Fancying boys is a start! If you don’t fancy boys then these tips will do fuck all for you.

• If you own a jewellery shop that specialises in selling gold then you're onto a winner! Especially thick gold chains and sovereigns! You will have your pick of Scally stunners, worshiping at your feet for jewellery!

• Scally boys love their dangerous dogs - so become a dangerous dog breeder. You know the type, the ones that chew pensioners. (Dogs not scallies!)

• Become a manager of JJB Sports. Free trackies equals free sex!

• Learn how to disable electronic tags from ankles. This community serving skill will ensure you will be offered sex from top-notch scally boys forever!

• If you work in a chip shop and can give away free fish and chips then every sexy scally boy in the world will want some of your battered sausage!

• Finally move to a council tower block and sit on the stairs with a bottle of vodka and loads of ciggies at three in the morning! You are guaranteed to pull a stunner!

Peace and Love!
Chrissy Darling xx

www.electrobelles.com

your comments

Munroe

said by Munroe
on Sunday, 10 August 2008, 1:14am

Give away free fish and chips... i love it!!! x

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