All about Brody

Brody Etherington

Friday, 28 November 2008

If you believed my Spacebook profile, I am a "suave, modest, sophisticated, talented, modest, debonair, modest and charming individual!" whereas my MyStalk profile simply says that I’m “Amazing!”. Look, quite frankly there’s no bias whatsoever and the need for modesty is only very slight considering I really am all of the above. At least, I am in my own lunchbox... which is a strangely satisfying thought.

Emphasis on the aforementioned bias... Why? Clearly the sub-cultural revolution that is the Spacebook and MyStalk websites (and their respective cult followings worldwide) embody that word’s meaning right down to its core. Indeed, these websites give you the chance to promote yourself as something that you are clearly not in many cases, and I doubt I was first to be disappointed when meeting someone in real life after beginning a cyber-friendship.

So why am I bringing this up now? I was asked by Real City Network to write my first column with a bit of an introduction to myself and what people could expect of me. Quite frankly I don’t know what you can expect! Not even I know that yet. Or if I do, I wouldn’t want to spoil the ending now (apologies!).

I’m one of those rare chameleon types who blossoms if people just expect the unexpected. That isn’t to say everything is always dramatic in my life... no wait... it mostly is... but that’s what makes me unique I think. There are a few things universally recognised about me though which might make this introduction interesting to you. I said might. Don’t hold your breath, ok?

In my life things tend to happen that are largely beyond the realms of normal and I’m a magnet for the eclectic, unpredictable and downright boring too.

I’m also a sucker for the upper echelons of Sydney’s GLBTQ social milieu. This would more commonly be referred to as being a Scene Queen but I personally hate the term. Just because I get around town (get your mind out of the gutter) and can’t walk up or down Oxford St without running into at least five people I know, doesn’t mean jack other than the fact that I’m popular. There goes that bias again... or maybe that was modesty?

It’s quite appropriate at this point to point out that I’ve had my fair share of practice at eating humble pie in the gutter too. I try and treat each experience in my life as a character-building exercise. The more I fail, the more I can learn and build my infallible armour for the future. This is very hard for a perfectionist. Humility does not actually come easily to me, would you believe it!

When I fail though, I tend to do it spectacularly (all the more to learn, you see... at least that’s what the voices in my head keep telling me). I fit the Gemini profile well because you can safely say that I’m a bundle of contradictions. Either that or I’m a two-faced bitch, depending on your interpretation of the duality of the Gemini sign.

A very close friend once said “You are one of the most intelligent people I know, but you have a great understanding of when intelligence is needed and when to let go of all logical thought. You are extremely capable of making any person feel comfortable, warm and accepted by you... That said, rubbed the wrong way and the room will become very cold.”

What followed was a very blunt one page assessment of Brody which I absolutely love because it wasn’t written by me. I might post it sometime when I can’t think of anything else to write about but for now I’ll just include a few relevant excerpts that I want to impress upon anyone who cares.

“You have very strong opinions on politics and I think are one of the very few gay people that understand it. You’re one of the only people I know who is Australian & Canadian, holds a pilot’s license, can speak Indonesian and has been ordained as a Buddhist monk.”

Indeed, I do have very strong politics and this will probably form the basis for much of what I write about for REALSydney and the Real City Network. I’m a traditional liberal thinker, a humanitarian at heart with the fight for social justice & equality at my core.

Oh and I am a champion of the underdog – especially when that underdog is me. There is no cause better than your own, as they say.

I also do volunteer work with Amnesty International in my spare time.

I’m not actually current with my pilots licence, so think again before asking me to fly you anywhere – but it’s definitely something I would like to get back into one day. And yes, I do speak Indonesian having studied it for five years at school.

I think most Australians are blind to the fact that there is a superpower (almost) in our region, they’re actually our closest neighbour and with 230 million people and I hope that one day I don’t actually need to use it for anything other than bartering with the locals in Bali over the price of a fake Louis manbag. I’m keeping it handy (the language as well as the manbag, clearly) just in case their military suddenly become trigger happy and feel like adding another island to the Indonesian archipelago. I’ll try and make sure it’s only Tasmania if they do...

Did I mention that I enjoy being totally politically INcorrect just for the sake of humour and pointing out how ludicrous some concepts really are, especially in relationship to racism and homophobia?

I mean don’t get me started on the gays they’re the worst of the lot! And then there’s Canadians*. Need I say anything, eh?

I think it’s appropriate to quote my friend right about now

“SO… in conclusion, you’re absolutely unique, whether you’re playing the part of the socialite, the politic or just stirring up shit. And I think your porn collection rivals that of a sex offender.”

Hmmm.

Actually I’m quite bitter and twisted for someone at such a young age. And just for the record, that was NOT a statement about my porn collection. Oh dear, that couldn’t have come out worse. Best clear that up stat.

I’ve had more life experience than I care to remember. But I would never change anything. I think I’m talented, but I might be biased. I’m told I’m intelligent, but I’m not so sure. I’m a dreamer – sometimes a little too optimistic for my own good. And deep down, underneath everything, I’m just another boy who wants to play. Join me?

*No real Canadians were harmed during the preparation of this text, only imaginary ones.